How Old is Old?

“I don’t believe it”, conjures up the image of the grumpy old Victor Meldrew as portrayed on TV by Richard Wilson - amusing, but sadly stereotypical of the intolerant characteristics attributed to older people. Then there is Dot Cotton, a devoutly Christian lady of the East End, who drinks sherry (“I don’t drink. Just a small one then”) and clings to her anachronistic hymns, quoting from the Authorised Version of the Bible. Dot embodies all that is popularly seen as the intransigent conservatism of the elderly and the irrelevance of the traditional Church of England. 

"Old age is forever stereotyped", writes Penelope Lively, quoting Simone de Beauvoir, who pointed out decades ago that we regarded old age as "something alien, a foreign species". For an actor to be asked to act an older person still seems to involve the parody of shuffling along with a walking frame or assuming signs of dementia. The media seem to do their level best to reinforce the age-old myths about aging people.

But what does it mean to be elderly in the 21^st century? When do you become “old”? When I was younger, people who were 60 all seemed old to me, a legacy of the war partly, but now I’ve turned 60 too and I don’t feel old yet. I’m pretty fit and active physically and mentally. We are all very different and life-expectancy has increased, so the group labelled as “elderly” is now a very disparate group ranging from people in their 60s suffering illness or disabilities to extraordinary 90+ year olds who live a very active life.

Michelle Hanson wrote in The Guardian (06/10/13), “Some friends recently visited Paris, where they saw old people in restaurants with their families, drinking wine. Bliss! Here we offer tea dances and singalongs for a separate group of what seem to be rather simple-minded charity cases.”

How patronizing it is to expect us all to drop into the stereotype! I don’t wear beige and happily wear purple (see Jenny Joseph “When I am old”). The rock ‘n’ roll culture has now matured and some musicians are still rocking past seventy.

Older people are as varied in their abilities and desires as any other group, perhaps even more varied. We may easily make assumptions about what “they” might like based on our own or historic images that have been blown away in recent times with health care, longer life and more exciting opportunities. As Christians we must not perpetrate the myth that beyond a certain age everybody homogenises into a grey mass, but love and serve each person as they are and as God does.  

What is important is to get to know the older people already around us that we don’t know so well, those who have chosen not to “join in” or who seem stand-offish, those reaching the retirement age who move in, but don’t seem to want to “get involved”. Maybe they are not like us cultural, psychologically or socially. How have the needs of this group (if it is a group) changed as the years have gone by? Maybe some don’t want or need the coffee mornings, bingo and sing-along tea parties that churches and villages offer now. I for one don’t. What new things ought we to consider organising in our communities that are really relevant in the 21^st century for the active and spirited group formerly known as “the elderly”? Any ideas?

The Big "C"

I’ve heard it said a remarkable number of times even in the last few days that you don’t have to go to church to be Christian; that to be “spiritual” is not to be “religious” or aligned with a religion. People tell me they believe in God and explain that they have some notion of a higher power, but they don’t feel the need to worship. I’m told by them that they pray, especially when times get tough and maybe sometimes to thank God, but not often. There is a general belief in an afterlife (I always ask this in funeral meetings to know where I stand), though the pressing materialism of this temporal world gets in the way of thinking too much about it. While I know what is being said in all these cases, I cannot agree with it anymore. Faith is personal, yes, but faith in a gracious, unconditionally loving God requires a big response, not a mediocre take-it-or-leave it attitude. It demands a commitment. Now I’ve said it, the big “C”, commitment, so lacking in the disposable, easy-come easy-go world today.

The question is what is that commitment? Initially coming to faith or growing further in faith is an individual choice, but it is not a path one can walk alone. Rarely do people realise their faith without the guidance of another person or other people empowered by the Holy Spirit. Nurturing and fostering the sparks of faith is much easier if one enjoys regular fellowship, prayer and Bible reading with other believers – not necessarily more mature Christians, as we all know “out of the mouths of babes…” Isolated the tiny embers can so easily grow cold, unless they are drawn together and fanned into life. This is the big “C”, commitment to each other, a promise to love and support each other in faith.

Moreover, we all have our God-given skills, gifts and talents, but none of us is really an expert of all, nor can we or should we do all. We need each other like a body has many parts, which work to make up the whole organism. Christians together form the complete Body of Christ here on earth now. We are his eyes, hands and his feet, every cell of his body. Of course, this image is not original. St Paul wrote eloquently in 1 Corinthians 12 about it. Being part of a body requires us all to pull our weight; we need each other and God needs all of us.

For us today I feel we need especially to share in the Body of Christ in Communion for two good reasons. Firstly, as a Eucharist or Thanksgiving in response to all he gives us, not the least his gracious love shown in Jesus’ sacrifice remembered in the service, but also in sheer awe at this wonderful creation (ah, yes, I crave silence in worship). Secondly, because by receiving the consecrated bread we sacramentally become the Body of Christ full of his Holy Spirit, empowered to live and work to his glory, genuinely inspired. All this requires the big “C”, commitment to worship – regular, weekly worship focussing on Holy Communion with other Christians as part of the church, the Body of Christ. Corporate religion is the only way by definition; it is Christ incarnate in the world.

Accepting that mainstream religious organisations have not always got it right (and for that we must repent), without them our spiritual platitudes about belief in God and saying our occasional prayers are hollow. You cannot be a Christian and not go to church as often as you can. 

Raffles and draws - a personal reflection

There are many ethical issues about which Christians should hold a considered opinion. One I believe is the topic of raffles and draws. Of course opinions will vary and may be supported by scripture and experience. My own stance in not partaking in raffles is a current, but long-time held, personal view from my own faith perspective and life experience. This reflection is how I see it. 

Raffles and draws in various forms are usually used to raise money for charities including churches. Raising funds is a creditable and very necessary activity to support the church and its activities. It is important I feel to look for guidance on how we do this in the Bible, but, as is often the case, we may not find definitive answers relevant to the 21^st century. We do read, in scripture, about appeals to raise money for the poor (Acts 11:29-30) and other occasions when churches give money to support each other’s work (e.g. 1 Cor 15; 2 Cor 8) or when congregations supported Paul personally (e.g. Philippians) and of course Jesus’ disciples needed funds to live, for which Judas Iscariot was the accountant it seems (John 13:29), but I don’t recall them ever worrying about money. Scripture does not seem clear on these occasions what methods were used to raise funds; it does suggest the funds are from generous, sacrificial and faithful giving by the community with no strings attached. In my own experience there are many churches for which this is true.

One of the most famous sayings from the Bible, often misquoted, is that “the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” (1 Tim 6:10) and Jesus reminded us that money should not be a priority in our lives as it can cloud our judgements when he said, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money” (Matt 6:24).  Gambling is defined as taking a chance on something in the hope of gain. It is my view that raffles are a form of gambling, albeit low level. This I feel is a “thin-end-of the-wedge” situation which could be applied to a number of other things, many of which unarguably can lead to society’s downfall. 

It is my personal view that the National Lottery, a random draw, is an insidious evil in society. It effectively taxes those who cannot afford to spare cash by giving them false hope in a materialistic dream in return for doing nothing – no wonder the moral values in our society are declining. Looking at the sociological background here, this contradicts the traditional protestant work ethic of working hard for your needs.

Even the millions of pounds donated by the National Lottery funds to charity similarly cannot reasonably justify this deceptively bad activity – if these are really worthy causes then either we should pay for them as a society together in our tax system or we should surely be prepared to give generously and altruistically, as the early churches did, without any strings or incentives. I am also saddened that as shops in our high streets close they are replaced by charity shops and bookmakers, the juxtaposition of which must indicate interesting sociological trends. In my view the hopelessness of many people in our community is a reflection on the changing values in our moral codes. Hope for those who have little or nothing is no longer expressed in a faith, but in material wealth and envy. The Gospel message has a much better hope to offer.

People may say that this is far too serious and I over-state the case; a small raffle is “only a bit of fun” or “what folks want or enjoy”. These arguments I fear are a subtle ploy used by Satan to con people. Hallowe’en activities (as I have written elsewhere) have been described as fun, but then turn frightening when, as Trick or Treat has escalated, some older people are now too scared to open their doors or young people take an unhealthy interest in the occult and get sucked in. Similarly giving people exactly what they want or enjoy is often not what they most need nor is it necessarily a good witness to our Lord; for example there is a difficult decision in giving money or not to a genuine beggar, of whom there are an increasing number in our so-called civilised country; he/she may then be tempted to spend it on drink rather than food or clothes. The enculturation (doing what the locals do) of church activities to “get alongside local people” is a difficult one. Imagine working as witness in a red-light district. There is no need for the Christian to compromise and behave in the same way or act as pimps to gain credibility. Perhaps we should always ask, “What impression or image are we giving of the church? Is it right?” Christian events, put on by people who claim to be “The Redeemed”, do need to be distinctive, i.e. in some way different and attractive in a positive way, so that people ask the question, “What is it that they have got that I crave?” 

Now raffles are not mentioned in the Bible, but drawing lots after prayer is indeed a method used on a number of occasions to make decisions. Joshua cast lots to share the land fairly (Josh 18:10) and the disciples selected Matthias, the replacement for Judas Iscariot, by drawing lots (Acts 1:23-26). Sadly the most obvious and saddest time when lots are drawn is by the soldiers wanting a souvenir of Jesus’ crucifixion as they selfishly drew lots for his seamless garment (John 19:24); a tragic example of people seeking personal gain and losing focus on what really matters – God on the cross. We must ensure we keep our priorities right and use our energy accordingly.

My personal conclusions therefore are that it is not possible to justify any specific means of fund-raising on the grounds that it makes a lot of money, as this premise could lead to justification of other activities that are clearly immoral in most people’s eyes, and the most important source of church funds should be personal stewardship. Secondly, the trends of a secular society need always to be reflected on carefully and if we really live by faith, we should not be ruled by concerns about money and let that cloud our deliberations; it may cause us perhaps to take our eyes off our Lord.

Finally I turn to Paul’s letters again. In 1 Cor 6:12 we are told that, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial”. A similar quote appears in 1 Cor 10:23, ““Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive”. The questions I ask myself in making a decision are “Is this activity beneficial to me or will it become my master and indispensable?” and “Will doing this be constructive to my ministry and life as a Christian witness?” For me the considered answers about raffles are negative. Personally I cannot support them.

I cannot make decisions for other people on moral matters such as whether or not to organise or to take part in a raffle and how to raise funds. As a professional teacher and educator I will not give right answers to ethical questions, for that is indoctrination. There are no generic right answers to these issues, but I can draw attention to the guidance in scripture. My greatest desire is that the church (that is all the people who love our Lord) will make their own mature, prayerful decisions individually and then as groups and then be content with what is decided collectively, seeking the very best way forward for the good of all in God’s Kingdom.