What if everybody?

I have fond memories of walking around Gloucester Docks with my Grandfather, collecting “treasures”. Maybe a handful of grain, a discarded sack or a nut and bolt. Sometimes I’d casually toss a stone into the water and he’d say, “Just think, lad, what if everybody did it?” Of course, it amused me how many small stones tossed into the murky water would be needed to bring the ship canal to a stand-still. But he had a point. 



My memory may be wrong. It may have been my father who said it. It may have been on just one occasion, but “What if everybody did it?” stuck with me. It’s a maxim worth exploring, both for the damage it may cause, but also the good.

Headlines from the BBC website:
“Coronavirus: Thousands spoken to by police for flouting lockdown
Police spoke to thousands of people for flouting social distancing rules over the Easter bank holiday weekend.
They include a couple from Hertfordshire who drove to Brighton to walk on the beach and a family from London who drove to the Lake District.”

A few stupid, selfish people have disregarded the Government guidelines on visiting relatives, holding parties or invading beauty spots. It may be they have not given it one moment of thought, but my guess is that many believed their little “bending of the rules” would not affect anyone else. Not a thought for, “What if everybody did it?”

Those who fly-tip while the hard-pressed council services have to cut garden waste collections. Who do they think will clear it up? They don’t think at all, certainly never, “What if everybody did it?”

And irrespective of the virus, one of my hobbyhorses, those few people who exceed speed limits on motorways. They not only give a bad example to their children about “doing as you are told”, but also cause others to brake sharply, unable to pull out at a legitimate speed to change lanes. They cause endless stress. Of course, they are all brilliant drivers aren’t they, but imagine the danger for all if everyone drove above the agreed sensible limits and too close, bearing in mind that the energy of a vehicle and stopping distance is a square function of velocity.

As for “centre-lane-only-drivers”! What if everybody....? Rant over!

On the positive side, let’s start with a look at manners. Nothing to do with gender, but imagine what it would be like if everyone glanced behind as they went through a door and held it with a smile if they were being followed through? (Social-distancing of course)



What if everybody both gave and received help with good grace or paid a compliment to someone each day?

And for society on a national scale...what if everyone paid their due taxes, set by a democratically elected government, willingly?

What if everyone paid a fair price for their food?

What if everybody did just one thing each day towards improving the climate and environment? Perhaps by using one fewer one-use plastic item.

What if everyone drove one fewer car journey each week and walked, shared public transport or worked from home? We’ve seen what immediate effect it can have during this “lockdown” time.

What if everybody planted a tree?

What if everyone washed their hand more regularly and thoroughly?

“If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try being in bed with a mosquito.” (Attributed to the Dali Lama).
“One and one and one...makes a million.” I think that was a folk song.

What if everybody ...?

Complete the sentence with your own examples.

Some thoughts on Mental Health Issues

Do you know anyone who suffers from a form of mental illness? Maybe anxiety, depression, or one of many serious conditions that impacts on their lifestyle. The answer is a guaranteed “yes”, whether they show it or not and whether you know it or not. About one in four people in this country is affected by some form of mental illness during a year, so we all know someone.

Because of the stigma attached to mental illness and the legacy of much casual language about it, many sufferers just cope in silence - they don’t and won’t talk about or show what is going on in their heads and in their lives. They function like anyone else, hold down often powerful, responsible jobs (e.g. Winston Churchill), they may often smile and say they are fine in public. But all this comes at a huge personal cost of fatigue, inner turmoil and sometimes difficulty with relationships. The daily struggle can result in serious collapse and sometimes, sadly, self-harm or suicide.

Let’s think for a moment, if somebody has an obvious physical disability, even if temporary, for example a broken leg, we all make allowances and sympathise. They may take longer to do something, they may need to rest more because of the effort involved in getting around, they may need help to carry out some tasks, they may have to miss out on some social activities. We don’t exacerbate the situation by taking away their crutches or by kicking the leg that is broken. They may seek help and follow a course of treatment. Some physical disabilities are only short-lived, some are life-long.

Mental illness is absolutely no different, except it is usually invisible. It is not a weakness or cry for help, any more that getting a bout of the ‘flu is. It doesn’t have an instant solution any more than does a broken leg.

Those who suffer have a real, day by day battle to function in a world that demands so much of them to smile and conform, to put on a brave face. They often live in fear that revealing their struggle will be interpreted as an inability to take responsibility, resulting in reduced prospects, and that it may damage personal relationships, because of prejudice or fear. If they do speak out, many well-meaning friends, not knowing how to respond, may suggest easy ways to “snap out of it”, emphasising the existing feelings of inadequacy.

People have campaigned for years for equality of access for the physically disabled and on gender issues. We are getting somewhere slowly. But there is a very long way to go for mental health equality. We do not seem to show the same understanding as for physical ailments when someone, through a mental health crisis, must have a day off from work, is late or fails to keep an appointment, has to leave a meeting or party early because they are fatigued, or behaves irrationally. Mental illness is as real as a physical problem.

If you suspect someone has mental health issues, be prepared to listen non-judgmentally. Be there for them, and, above all, do not give advice or pressure them to conform. They may need to be encouraged to seek good professional help to find their road to well-being. Their illness may be acute, and it may be chronic and life-long. The way may be rough and demanding. Walk with them, unconditionally, on that journey, reassuring them and supporting any self-help strategies they may have.

For further information see organisations such as Mind, Rethink and more on the internet. There is also a very good Metro article by our daughter, Frances, “Mental Health First Aid – what is it and how can I do it?” at www.metro.co.uk – just go to this link and type the title in the search box.