Am I a feminist? Perhaps!

A Reflection on The Blessed Virgin Mary

“Mary” by Tim Okamura

See what you think of this...some of you may find it a bit graphic...

"Sometimes I Wonder"  by Kaitlin Hardy Shetler

Sometimes I wonder

if Mary breastfed Jesus.

if she cried out when he bit her

or if she sobbed when he would not latch.

and sometimes I wonder

if this is all too vulgar

to ask in a church

full of men

without milk stains on their shirts

or coconut oil on their breasts

preaching from pulpits off limits to the Mother of God.

but then I think of feeding Jesus,

birthing Jesus,

the expulsion of blood

and smell of sweat,

the salt of a mother’s tears

onto the soft head of the Salt of the Earth,

feeling lonely

and tired

hungry

annoyed

overwhelmed

loving

and i think,

if the vulgarity of birth is not

honestly preached

by men who carry power but not burden,

who carry privilege but not labor,

who carry authority but not submission,

then it should not be preached at all.

because the real scandal of the Birth of God

lies in the cracked nipples of a

14 year old

and not in the sermons of ministers

who say women

are too delicate

to lead.

I have been told I am a feminist...if I am, I’m sure I’m not a very good one. There are those who say men cannot be feminists anyway, and maybe it is so. We’ll set that aside...

What I do know is that women’s role in the church has been undervalued, under-represented, side-lined and even suppressed for two thousand years. 

Times are changing, but only just. The CofE has ordained women as priests for 25 years, but there are still many, mainly traditionalist men, despite seeing the huge ministry offered by women, quite frankly the salvation of the CofE in these decades, who still militantly oppose women priests and bishops. 

Only this week on the appointment of a very eminently qualified Bishop of Chelmsford, Guli Francis-Dehqania, black multinational woman, I saw a post addressed to the ABC that said, “Dear Fr,” that form of address speaks volumes, “Dear Fr ...I think she is an extraordinary woman however I must ask you when will the day come when the CofE takes seriously in earnest its commitment to the five guiding principles and appoints without hesitation traditionalist Anglicans to diocesan roles in that spirit of respect and risky love we hear so much about?”

I think the last sentence is confusing – traditionalists never seem to risk anything. It’s possibly an ironic comment – an attempt at humour to disguise the venom in the attack. The simple underlying message is, “Yes she’s well qualified, but not to be a priest, let alone a bishop”. Perhaps the male traditionalist Anglicans feel threatened by such an exciting appointment. I don’t. 

What saddens me is that the very branch of the church, the Anglican Church, that reveres Saint Mary so much, is the very wing that opposes women in powerful ministerial positions, often, as I am told, Mrs Thatcher said of some of her female political colleagues, suggesting they are “too emotional to carry responsible roles and should stick to making the tea”.

The Blessed Virgin Mary was an extraordinary woman, rather a girl!  Of course, to answer the question in the poem, she breastfed Jesus...before that she went through an unplanned pregnancy, in times when prenatal care was not quite as it is today. Pregnancy was a hugely dangerous condition. To cap that, she rode on a donkey while heavily pregnant. I can’t imagine that – I guess few of you, even the women can’t imagine that!  And then a lonely birth in unsanitary conditions, with no anaesthetic or medical care. She was hard and tough...not the quaint, tranquil, clean Mary depicted, mainly by men, in numerous paintings over the centuries. 

She effectively founded the Christian Church – the first person to recognise Jesus as the Messiah – and respond to his call. She carried a huge responsibility with humility, inner peace and dignity, just look at the Magnificat. What a contrast to many of our male political leaders! Inarticulate babbling buffoons. 

There is not a single more important person in the history of humanity than Mary, except Jesus himself!

We should celebrate Mary’s incredible role in bringing our Saviour into the world – so isn’t it extraordinary that women are still, across the world, but even in this country, in relatively few positions of authority in the church, commerce and politics, because men, rash generalisation I know, but men generally have always considered themselves to be superior. 

My prayer for today is that women, the right women, in all countries are entrusted with the responsibility they deserve. I believe the world will be a better place, because there are so many women like Mary – tough, hardened, able to take huge responsibilities, yet with a beauty and a treasured inner peace that I feel Mary must have had to bear what she  had to. 

I pray, with The Blessed Virgin Mary, for women everywhere. I praise God for the contribution they make to the well-being of humanity and I pray that their potential is unleashed to make this world a better place. 

I commend this to your prayers too.

And as a bit of humour, though with some interesting serious feminist theological thinking behind it...

What if everybody?

I have fond memories of walking around Gloucester Docks with my Grandfather, collecting “treasures”. Maybe a handful of grain, a discarded sack or a nut and bolt. Sometimes I’d casually toss a stone into the water and he’d say, “Just think, lad, what if everybody did it?” Of course, it amused me how many small stones tossed into the murky water would be needed to bring the ship canal to a stand-still. But he had a point. 



My memory may be wrong. It may have been my father who said it. It may have been on just one occasion, but “What if everybody did it?” stuck with me. It’s a maxim worth exploring, both for the damage it may cause, but also the good.

Headlines from the BBC website:
“Coronavirus: Thousands spoken to by police for flouting lockdown
Police spoke to thousands of people for flouting social distancing rules over the Easter bank holiday weekend.
They include a couple from Hertfordshire who drove to Brighton to walk on the beach and a family from London who drove to the Lake District.”

A few stupid, selfish people have disregarded the Government guidelines on visiting relatives, holding parties or invading beauty spots. It may be they have not given it one moment of thought, but my guess is that many believed their little “bending of the rules” would not affect anyone else. Not a thought for, “What if everybody did it?”

Those who fly-tip while the hard-pressed council services have to cut garden waste collections. Who do they think will clear it up? They don’t think at all, certainly never, “What if everybody did it?”

And irrespective of the virus, one of my hobbyhorses, those few people who exceed speed limits on motorways. They not only give a bad example to their children about “doing as you are told”, but also cause others to brake sharply, unable to pull out at a legitimate speed to change lanes. They cause endless stress. Of course, they are all brilliant drivers aren’t they, but imagine the danger for all if everyone drove above the agreed sensible limits and too close, bearing in mind that the energy of a vehicle and stopping distance is a square function of velocity.

As for “centre-lane-only-drivers”! What if everybody....? Rant over!

On the positive side, let’s start with a look at manners. Nothing to do with gender, but imagine what it would be like if everyone glanced behind as they went through a door and held it with a smile if they were being followed through? (Social-distancing of course)



What if everybody both gave and received help with good grace or paid a compliment to someone each day?

And for society on a national scale...what if everyone paid their due taxes, set by a democratically elected government, willingly?

What if everyone paid a fair price for their food?

What if everybody did just one thing each day towards improving the climate and environment? Perhaps by using one fewer one-use plastic item.

What if everyone drove one fewer car journey each week and walked, shared public transport or worked from home? We’ve seen what immediate effect it can have during this “lockdown” time.

What if everybody planted a tree?

What if everyone washed their hand more regularly and thoroughly?

“If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try being in bed with a mosquito.” (Attributed to the Dali Lama).
“One and one and one...makes a million.” I think that was a folk song.

What if everybody ...?

Complete the sentence with your own examples.

Corona-virus and the new technology

During the Covid-19 pandemic...thank God for the internet and social media. What a gift!!

We all, almost without exception, resist change or only want it in our own way and in our own time. Sometimes it seems thrust upon us.

So many times I’ve heard people, mainly older folk but not entirely, decrying social media and smart phones as, at best, “a waste of time” and often as “evil”. The justification it seems for this view is these inventions, in the view of some folk, only serve to destroy society and relationships, and cause misery and deaths.

Well that’s been proved wrong in the last couple of weeks, hasn’t it? 

No more than the argument that the car kills people can we suggest that modern technology is inherently evil. It is self-evident that it is only in its uses that fault may be found.

In the current situation many people would be terribly isolated, cut off from seeing friends and family, if it were not for Facebook, Instagram, Skype, FaceTime and other platforms. Social groups, musicians, church families and others, have been able to meet, albeit virtually. Even education has continued, and in some cases developed a new dimension. What would it have been like just 30 years ago? Imagine that.

Indeed, perhaps we are contacting people even more because we can.

Sadly, those who have resisted change are now some of the most isolated. Conversely, my hearing-impaired 93 year-old mother can order her groceries online, see family activities on Facebook and keep in touch daily using email or texts.

My view is that humanity has demonstrated the value of a God given gift here - creativity - which is usually thought to be artistic but can be technological.

If the motivation to create is to make money from a new electronic product or to exploit the vulnerable, then that is wrong. However, if it is to improve society, then bring it on. And for me this has proved recently to include most devices and apps.

People have invented these devices and apps for communication, education and even entertainment (which is something we all really need). Let’s thank God for the internet and social media. Let’s celebrate and embrace the new technology, developing uses positively for the good of all.

I’m not eschewing physical meeting of course, which is an essential part of what we need as humans and are sorely missing at this time. We will go back to that soon I pray. I am simply reflecting on what a gift the internet and social media has proved to be after an often bad press.

In the end, by the grace of God, all the good, as ever, will outweigh the bad and all will be well.