Do you know anyone who suffers from a form of mental illness? Maybe anxiety, depression, or one of many serious conditions that impacts on their lifestyle. The answer is a guaranteed “yes”, whether they show it or not and whether you know it or not. About one in four people in this country is affected by some form of mental illness during a year, so we all know someone.
Because of the stigma attached to mental illness and the
legacy of much casual language about it, many sufferers just cope in silence -
they don’t and won’t talk about or show what is going on in their heads and in
their lives. They function like anyone else, hold down often powerful,
responsible jobs (e.g. Winston Churchill), they may often smile and say they
are fine in public. But all this comes at a huge personal cost of fatigue,
inner turmoil and sometimes difficulty with relationships. The daily struggle
can result in serious collapse and sometimes, sadly, self-harm or suicide.
Let’s think for a moment, if somebody has an obvious
physical disability, even if temporary, for example a broken leg, we all make
allowances and sympathise. They may take longer to do something, they may need
to rest more because of the effort involved in getting around, they may need
help to carry out some tasks, they may have to miss out on some social
activities. We don’t exacerbate the situation by taking away their crutches or
by kicking the leg that is broken. They may seek help and follow a course of
treatment. Some physical disabilities are only short-lived, some are life-long.
Mental illness is absolutely no different, except it is usually
invisible. It is not a weakness or cry for help, any more that getting a bout
of the ‘flu is. It doesn’t have an instant solution any more than does a broken
leg.
Those who suffer have a real, day by day battle to function
in a world that demands so much of them to smile and conform, to put on a brave
face. They often live in fear that revealing their struggle will be interpreted
as an inability to take responsibility, resulting in reduced prospects, and that
it may damage personal relationships, because of prejudice or fear. If they do
speak out, many well-meaning friends, not knowing how to respond, may suggest easy
ways to “snap out of it”, emphasising the existing feelings of inadequacy.
People have campaigned for years for equality of access for
the physically disabled and on gender issues. We are getting somewhere slowly.
But there is a very long way to go for mental health equality. We do not seem
to show the same understanding as for physical ailments when someone, through a
mental health crisis, must have a day off from work, is late or fails to keep
an appointment, has to leave a meeting or party early because they are
fatigued, or behaves irrationally. Mental illness is as real as a physical
problem.
If you suspect someone has mental health issues, be prepared
to listen non-judgmentally. Be there for them, and, above all, do not give
advice or pressure them to conform. They may need to be encouraged to seek good
professional help to find their road to well-being. Their illness may be acute,
and it may be chronic and life-long. The way may be rough and demanding. Walk
with them, unconditionally, on that journey, reassuring them and supporting any
self-help strategies they may have.
For further information see organisations such as Mind, Rethink
and more on the internet. There is also a very good Metro article by our daughter,
Frances, “Mental Health First Aid – what is it and how can I do it?” at www.metro.co.uk
– just go to this link and type the title in the search box.
